Extra Credit Assignment: Myriam Gurba at SUNY Cortland

Mackenzie Wiater

The event I chose to watch for extra credit was the video of Myriam Gurba coming to speak to Cortland. This was a really interesting video to watch. She spoke about a lot of things that we discuss in class. It started off as an introduction from Professor Savonick talking about who Myriam Gurba is and what was going to be done during the zoom meeting. Then the viewers got to hear from Gurba herself. Gurba also introduced herself a little and then read the chapter from Mean that was about the fifth grade race war. After reading this chapter, she then moved on to reading a little bit of an essay that she had in progress, which was an experimental essay. This was an interpersonal essay about her and her cousin growing up with a “backpack full of skeletons.” This backpack of skeletons was all of the trauma that Gurba and her cousin have had to carry around with them throughout their lives. 

After reading her chapter, the meeting then turned to open discussions where people asked questions. The first question asked was, “What was the process like for writing Mean, and how long did it take to complete it?” I found it really interesting that Gurba explained that this piece of work was a fragmented process, and she began to write about six or seven years before the memoir was even published. She did not intend for these experimental fragmentations to be published. Her first intentions were to write about sexual assault using humor because she had never seen that before. She also talked about how she narrated the sexual assaults in her book like a butterfly watching it happen. This is something that we discussed in class. We talked about how it seemed like Gurba was writing it from a bird’s eye view, and that is exactly what Gurba told us her intentions were. She said she wanted it to be told from a third eye witness, and for readers to “watch the event unfold from the imaginative perspective of the environment.” 

Another question that was asked was “Has it become easier to reflect and talk about Mean as you get older, and what is it like to have people analyze and ask questions about such private moments in your life?” This was a great question to ask because it is also something we discussed in class. Gurba expressed how her answer to this question is a little complicated. In some instances, her experiences have become easier to discuss. When she was between the ages of 19-21, she barely spoke about her experiences because they were so recent, and maybe not yet fully processed. However, certain experiences can be easier to talk about now that she is about 20 years older. These events were so horrifying that they will most likely remain difficult to talk about forever for her. For example, she was sexually assaulted by a murderer. She expressed that this is just something she will never recover from and she will always carry with her. To this day she does not like to be tapped on the shoulder or startled from behind because of what she has gone through. Gurba also expressed that writing Mean was not a healing experience because things are so difficult to talk about, but it was somewhat comforting to write. Gurba shared that this was a comforting experience because she was experiencing domestic violence while writing her memoir. Even though it was not a healing experience, it was kind of a comforting experience because her significant other could not control her manuscript like he was controlling her life.

Many more great questions were asked during this zoom call. I really appreciated hearing from Gurba and appreciated how she shared more than just what she told us in her memoir. She shared very vulnerable experiences with her viewers, and I really respect that.