Throughout chapter 4 of the book Citizen: An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine, the speaker expresses her struggles that occur in her everyday life. Much of these struggles stem from her memory of not only her past, but also the historical past of Black Americans. Something you can’t escape is your own memories; good or bad. A major theme that is brought out by these struggles is anger which is caused by new situations that trigger past memories. Rankine starts off the chapter by saying, “To live through the days sometimes you moan like a deer” (59). When I first read this phrase I was slightly confused because I wasn’t sure I knew what she meant by moaning like a deer. However, once I gave more thought into it I realized that Rankine was referring to the moans of pain and struggle that deer experience when they are hunted and killed. Therefore, Rankine is comparing the struggles of an animal to her own which also expresses how she was treated as less than human. After reading this page a few times I started to see a correlation between what Rankine was expressing here and in the picture from chapter 1 on page 19. The image shows a deer with a young black girl’s face sutured onto it. The piece of art represents how black people were not treated as humans, but as animals. I think that this image goes along with this quote because they both express the same idea that Rankine was treated like a deer, or less than human.
It is clear that Rankine is heavily impacted by many harsh memories in her everyday life. Naturally, when humans are experiencing something that causes pain they will do everything they can to stop it. What this looks like for Rankine is watching tennis. Rankine states, “Sitting here, there are no memories to remember, just the ball going back and forth” (64). I found this quote very relatable because I know exactly what she means when she says “there are no memories to remember”. I think that anyone who plays a sport can relate to this and I will explain my perspective. As a soccer player, when I get on the field my mind goes blank and all my focus is in the game. Any thoughts or worries I had before a game are completely washed away when the starting whistle blows. While Rankine is not physically playing tennis, she has the same sensations from watching it on her television. This appears to be Rankines’ form of coping with all of the painful thoughts that run through her mind. At the end of the chapter, Rankine repeats the phrases “Move on. Let it go. Come on” (66). In the situation that Rankine is describing, she is worried whether or not Serena Williams will be able to come back from the argument with the umpire. When Serena gets back into the game she isn’t able to finish off strongly. As Rankine watches she is extremely triggered and states, “Your fingers cover your eyes, press them deep into their sockets– too much commotion, too much for a head remembering to ache” (66). It is in this quote that Rankine realizes Serena no longer has a blank mind or is able to focus on the game. Being aware of this based on the game’s outcome, Rankine reacts repulsively pushing her fingers into eye sockets. Rankine could have simply said she put her hands over her eyes in distress. However, she uses vivid imagery and almost graphic use of language by including the phrase “deep into their sockets” (66). I think that this specific image of her shoving her fingers into her eyes gives the reader a better understanding of how strongly she felt about this situation. Going back to her repetition of the phrases about moving on, I think Rankine knows these are the thoughts that Serena is experiencing. As Rankine has expressed in previous chapters, Black people are continuously expected to move on and get over situations that offend them. As Rankine watched Serena on the court losing, it triggered her memories of having to tell herself to get over situations that hurt her based on race.
Moving into chapter 5, there is one quote that really stood out to me. Rankine states, “The past is a life sentence, a blunt instrument aimed at tomorrow” (72). Immediately after reading this I had to look up the definition of a blunt instrument. The definition provided by Wikipedia states, “A blunt instrument is any solid object used as a weapon, which damages its target by applying direct mechanical force, and has no penetrating point or edge, or is wielded so that the point or edge is not the part of the weapon that inflicts the injury”. The way I interpreted this quote is that the past will never stop coming back because you will always have those memories to reflect on. Just like a life sentence never ends, the pain and suffering from the past will never be completely gone. While these memories will continue to hurt you, as would a blunt instrument, they aren’t intended to do too extreme harm because of their smooth edge. What I think Rankine is trying to express here is that even though society has made huge achievements in ending racism, the past habits are always going to come back to hurt people in the future. While these habits won’t do as much harm as they once did, they will still cause damage.
Discussion Questions:
- Do you think Rankine feels she has been treated as an animal? What examples from the text support this idea?
- Do you think Rankine watching tennis is her way of coping with bad memories? Did you notice a different way she distracted herself from her harsh memories?
Work Cited
Rankine, Claudia. Citizen: An American Lyric. Minneapolis, Minnesota, Graywolf Press, 2014.
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