What roles do female friendships play in this story? An Evaluation of “Bonnie” (pages 42-48)
In the memoir Mean, by Myriam Gurba, the role of female friendships is explored. This can be seen in many of the passages throughout the book, but especially in “Bonnie.” This passage details Gurba’s experience with her new friends at her private high school, and has led me to the question, What role do female friendships play in this story? In this section, Gurba describes her new friends in detail, noting their heritage and characteristics beyond that. She feels more closely connected with friends that share her similar Mexican roots, stating that “One of them, Frida, was half Mexican. That attracted me to her” (42). This is a common theme throughout the book, with Gurba feeling more closely connected to people who come from similar backgrounds as her. In this passage, she details how her white friend Ashley tried out for a pageant, against her friends’ advice, and placed last. After this, the winner of the Miss America pageant comes to visit their high school on a tour, and this upsets Ashley.
While the girls were hanging out at school that day, Ashley makes fun of the winner, who is hard of hearing, by imitating a deaf voice, and Gurba describes that as “Ashley’s cruelty [giving her] goosebumps” (42) Gurba continuously chooses to surround herself with girls who don’t have the best reputations, as she hung out with “hos” in middle school, and describes her friends now in high school as “ not all [being] hos. Some were drunks and fools” (42). Gurba finds comfort in these nontraditional girls and their meanness. Ashley continues to make fun of the girl’s deafness, and Gurba agrees with her, saying “we nodded to show Ashley that we believed deaf Miss America had cunt breath. That’s what you do when you’re in high school and someone is your friend. You agree that other girls are cunts to prove your fealty to the girls you love” (43). Despite these girls not always being the kindest to others, they still have a strong sense of community within themselves, and ditch school and the Miss America assembly at Ashley’s request. Gurba questions how they will get off of school grounds, and her friends explain to her the plan and yell at her to “[not] pussy out” (43). While some may take offense to this, Gurba does not, and their meanness is a way for them to show each other endearment. When escaping the school, Ashley sacrifices her jacket over the barbed wire for the girls to climb over, and when Gurba’s shirt gets caught and ripped open, Conchita unpinned her skirt and used the pins to put Gurba’s shirt back together. This shows that although these girls can be mean, they will always, quite literally, have each other’s back no matter what.
The girls drove away, smoking pot and eating lollipops, and ended up at a vendor’s market in a nearby college town. They see a lot of different people here, but one that sticks out to Gurba are the “politically minded assholes [who] were registering voters” (46). Then they split up into pairs to go off and beg for money so they can enjoy the market, since they didn’t have any money themselves. Frida and Gurba pair off and walk around window shopping and gossiping insensitively about a baseball coach and Sunday school teacher who molested the kids he taught as was arrested. Gurba shows little to no compassion for these boys, despite them being children that she knew personally and grew up with. She writes that “my heart refused to have compassion for those involved in our local chomo mess. Compassion was too risky” (47) Her and Frida continue to joke about the situation, the girls poking fun at it in a mean way. This goes back to these girls not being the best for nicest girls, but still finding a way to bond with each other through their harder exteriors. They then find a hippie and ask him to give them money for the market. When he obliges, Frida suggests that Gurba blow him as a thanks, and Gurba responds saying that she’s not into men. The hippie says she’s too young to know that about herself, and Frida responds by “[putting] her arm around me. I could feel her big breast press my bicep. ‘They start pretty young these days” (48). After this, the hippie smirks and Gurba says that the smirk “couldn’t touch us. Only we could touch each other.” These two quotes hint that the friendship between Frida and Gurba is more than just a friendship. It could be possible that Frida was trying to save Gurba from an uncomfortable situation, but seeing as that situation was at her request, it seems unlikely. The friendship between the girls is alluded to be more sexual here, possibly giving Gurba a comfortable place to explore her sexuality. She also initially said that Frida being Mexican attracted Gurba to her, as aforementioned. This is how this passage ends, so therefore, this is an examination of the passage “Bonnie,” and the acts feminine friendship being displayed throughout.
Discussion Questions:
– How do you think these friendships displayed impacted Gurba’s growth in the passages following “Bonnie”?
– Reflect on your high school friendships. How did they impact your growth into becoming who you are today?
Work Cited
Gurba, Myriam. Mean. Coffee House Press, 2017.
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